PMQs sketch: Miliband’s unlikely peak of passion
Ed Miliband is looking for the answer to all his problems in the unlikeliest of places: melodrama.
By Alex Stevenson Follow @alex__stevenson
The leader of the Labour party has had a troubled seven days since his last appearance at the despatch box. He was so lacklustre this time last week that, after the Sunday journalists had had their way, the Miliband leadership was in something approaching a crisis. A decent speech on Monday helped put off the critics. But nothing matters more, in the political world, than a decent performance at prime minister's questions. High stakes, indeed.
This explains why the government benches laid into Miliband even before he had opened his mouth to begin. He would have been excused before staggering back into his seat, such was the wall of contempt hurtling at him. To his credit, he did not wilt. Instead, he gave an improved – if somewhat odd – performance.
In previous sessions Labour aides have got their leader to adopt the scattergun approach, in which he tests Cameron with a series of questions on different topics. This week, the other extreme was adopted. Miilband raised questions about the measly £94 employment support allowance received by those who are recovering from cancer. Well, just one question. Again. And again. And again.
Cameron's first response was to dodge. "All we see is a Labour party desperate not to support welfare reform," he said. The second response, when the question didn't go away, was to answer it in confused fashion, explaining that the definition of terminally ill hadn't changed. As Miliband pointed out, this was not really anything to do with the matter in hand. "I ask him the question again," he said. When he didn't get the answer he wanted, he said it again. And again. And – well, you get the idea.
Cameron said he had already answered it three times. "I know he wants to create a distraction from the fact he won't support welfare reform," the PM grumbled. It's a neat tactic, isn't it? Even if the answer Cameron had initially given was the correct, reasonable and fair one, repeating the question ad nauseam makes it look as if the PM was doing everything he could to dodge it.
The problem with this approach is it limits Miliband's ability to come up with stinging soundbites more original than "I ask the questions and he fails to answer them," perhaps the oldest and most worn-out cliché there is in the PMQs playbook.
The PM responded by accusing Miliband of "wriggling off his responsibilities" – an excellent turn of phrase. I must remember to use this when accusing my wife of not doing the housework. "He is attempting to put up a smokescreen because he's been found out," Cameron objected. "He can't take his divided party with him. That's what this is about – weak leadership of a divided party."
And there it was, front and centre once again. That is what will be used on the news clips. Miliband, limping along after getting on for a year in the job, not holding his party together.
He responded by turning up the melodrama notch to 11. If this was in any other situation, people would be exchanging awkward glances at the irate man making a scene.
"I think it's a disgrace Conservative members are shouting when we're talking about people with cancer," Miliband said, shouting his head off.
Speaker John Bercow corrected: "I think it is a disgrace members on both sides of the House are shouting their heads off."
Then came the melodramatic climax. Miliband's voice, rising higher and higher, louder and louder, explained that the argument was being made "for months!" He couldn't believe Cameron wasn't aware of the arguments!
And then, finally, after all these weeks of waiting, the punchline, the knockout blow, the peak of rhetoric: "The House of Commons is voting about the bill TONIGHT!"
Hmmm. Admittedly, it was an odd choice of phrase to make your rhetorical peak on. Usually leaders of the opposition make their most animated point about the failings of the government, not parliamentary scheduling.
But we shouldn't complain. At least he's getting worked up about something. After last week, things can only get better.
