Cat and mouse politics
Coalition politics has more than a touch of cat and mouse about it, so it’s quite right that Downing Street’s latest acquisition is of a feline nature.
Larry, as he is affectionately known, arrives as No 10’s newest residence this afternoon. He’s a short-haired tabby who was brought into Battersea Dogs and Cats Home in early January. Like a four-legged X Factor miracle, he has been elevated into the limelight from nowhere.
“Larry is a great match, because he is a very sociable cat who enjoys attention and loves human contact,” Battersea’s head of cats Kirsty Walker said. “I’ve cared for thousands of cats during my time at Battersea and I can definitely see Larry holding his own at Downing Street.”
Larry was an obvious fit for the home of a Conservative prime minister: you couldn’t find a sterner opponent of identity cards and their cattish equivalent. He had done so good a job of keeping his identity a secret, so firmly had he rejected the idea of microchipping or wearing a collar and tag, that Battersea couldn’t really work out where he fitted in. It’s not even sure whether his next birthday is his fourth, fifth or sixth.
One thing is for certain: he’s going to be good at the Downing Street job. Having lived rough for some time, he’s expected to be a natural when it comes to dealing with the rodents which have recently infested the pavement outside No 10. One rat even appeared on the nation’s most famous doorstep during a recent live news bulletin.
Having carefully assessed Larry’s temperament – the crucial combination of an enthusiasm for hunting and polishing off rats and getting on well in well-heeled circles – Battersea are sure he’s the right cat for the job. “Larry may have had it tough as a stray but he’s active, lively and confident,” the charity added. “He’s quite independent and has bags of character.” Usually these qualities are frowned upon in political circles – especially if you’re a government backbencher. But they are excellent qualities in a Downing Street cat.
Amusing as this all is, the thought of a No 10 cat idly playing with its enemies before polishing them off for good holds a certain resonance in Westminster’s current climate.
Talk among the Conservatives is all about what they should do with their latest possession, the Liberal Democrat party. Having portrayed a cute and cuddly image which has enticed Nick Clegg and co into the Tories’ lair, they are now daring to contemplate scenarios in which the coalition’s junior party are polished off for good.
It’s all a long way off, of course. But even in public senior Tories are starting to hint about the world after the next general election, in a scenario where it all goes horribly wrong for the Lib Dems.
Take Dominic Grieve, the attorney-general. His attitude towards the Lib Dems in comments to thinktank Politeia is one of barely concealed bemusement. They have abandoned the left wing of British politics, he claims – before warning that doing so might not work out for them.
The idea, in theory at least, is that the Lib Dems “get the plaudits of the electorate in five years’ time by showing what moderation and sound political judgment can deliver in terms of benefits to the electorate”. Mr Grieve is daring to suggest that this outcome is far from guaranteed. It might not work out at all. He added cautiously: “It will remain to be seen whether this remarkable experiment, which shows some courage on their part, will in fact deliver the outcome which they want.”
If it doesn’t work out for the Lib Dems, the Tories won’t be crying over spilt milk. 2015 is a long way off. But it’s just possible that after the next general election, with Larry looking on approvingly, they’ll be watching carefully – ready to pounce.
