The top ten funniest expenses claims
politics.co.uk’s pick of the most audacious, the most brazen, the most absurd expenses claims unearthed in the recent scandal.
By Alex Stevenson
It’s actually quite difficult to choose which expenses claims are so shockingly appalling that they deserve inclusion in this brief list.
Why? There’s a simple reason. The expenses claims are like a lucky dip. Wander around the corridors of the House of Commons and you’ll be bumping into an MP with questionable expenses claims in just a few seconds.
The truth is the old culture of claiming for just about anything and everything was universally accepted.
Only tenuous links with parliamentary work were needed. Like most MPs, those listed below are hard-working, committed figures determined to make their contribution to public life.
Don’t let that undermine the unacceptable nature of what they were doing.
When assessing these expense claims, always bear in mind the Green Book – the rules to which so many MPs have insisted they stuck rigidly.
“Members should avoid purchases which could be seen as extravagant or luxurious,” it says, adding that “claims must only be made for expenditure that it was necessary for a member to incur to ensure that he or she could properly perform his or her parliamentary duties”.
Dawn Butler
The Labour government whip, who goes head to head against Sarah Teather in Brent at the next general election, claimed for a jacuzzi-style bath to be fitted in her second home in north London.
Jacqui Smith
The former home secretary claimed for a bath plug costing 88p. It was one of the more innocuous of the claims that got her into trouble: pornographic films sat uneasily alongside a kitchen sink purchase, which cost £550.
Shaun Woodward
The wealthiest MP in the Commons nevertheless thought it was appropriate to claim for a Crunch Corner yoghurt costing 38p.
Fabian Hamilton
Among the Leeds North East MP’s £171,824 total expenses claim was a claim for an iPod Nano in his communications allowance.
David Cameron
David who? His leadership of the Conservative party hit a low ebb before the 2007 party conference, but he reasserted his authority with an impressive off-the-cuff leader’s speech. He certainly prioritises working hard on the art of oratory: £10.99 was charged on expenses for the purchase of a Penguin book on historic speeches.
Jeremy Hunt
Shadow media secretary Jeremy Hunt was responding to the Digital Britain report on Tuesday, in which he reacted angrily to the government’s determination to impose a levy on telecoms charges. Mr Hunt knows a thing or two about the cost of using mobile phones: he claimed for a 12-second phone call costing just 1p.
Julia Goldsworthy
Over to the Liberal Democrats, and Julia Goldsworthy – one of the Commons’ youngest members. Her claims included a designer pink rocking chair costing £912, which was later repaid, £291 for a matching pink footstool and £89 – for a dustbin.
Lembit Opik
Sometimes you just have to purchase hil-a-rious wigs as the best way of using taxpayers’ money. Opik purchased two pieces of headwear – The Mother of All Wigs, costing £19.99, and a Filmstar wig costing £9.99 – to wear at a charitable event.
Alex Salmond
The Scottish first minister was an MP when he and others racked up £14,100 in legal costs in an attempt to impeach Tony Blair. Astonishingly, the funds were charged to the law firm in which Mr Blair’s wife Cherie is a partner. Mr Salmond has defended the claim.
George Osborne
The shadow chancellor, we hope, is good with money, and made sure this was the case by taking advice from himself. The purchase of two DVDs of his comments to the Commons on getting value for taxpayers’ money was, in its own way, perhaps the most absurd claim of all.
If you think you can find anything better, let us know.
