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PMQs as-it-happened

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By Ian Dunt

11:10 – It’s Michael Martin’s last session as speaker before voting gets under way, so expect some glowing and only half-false speeches from the assembled leaders. On PMQs itself, it’s hard to tell what Cameron will go for. There’s the Iraq inquiry, but Cameron already laid into this when Brown made the announcement. The Digital Britain package is hardly stirring stuff to take apart. The temptation could be to go with ID cards. This morning, shadow home secretary Chris Grayling – who has something of the inept about him – launched a mini broadside against the scheme, writing letters to firms involved in the project to tell them they’re looking at some lost investment if the blues get in next spring. Or with unemployment figures out today, we could be back to the economy. My money’s on ID cards, but I am preparing, as we speak, to eat my words.

11:14 – For the record, Martin will be making a farewell speech after proceedings have ended.

11:29 – Martin just walked through to the Commons with the customary shout of “hats off strangers” going out ahead of him.

11:38 – The Downing Street camp have been on the defensive over the Iraq war inquiry, which is likely to rear its controversial head again in this lunchtime’s session. Ed Balls’ comments that certain hearings should be held in public have ruffled No 10, which continues to point out, rightly, that this inquiry has a far wider remit than any other conflict. “The objective of the inquiry is to get to the truth,” we’re told. It will be interesting to see how many Labour backbenchers express concerns about whether doing so will affect public confidence in its findings.

11:56 – Scotland questions are just rounding off now. Almost every MP who speaks sends their best to the Speaker. The House has a permanent background noise to it today which is about four times louder than usual. A febrile atmosphere permeates the chamber.

12:01 – And off we go. Before listing his engagements, Brown says: “The whole House will have the opportunity to acknowledge your contributions to public life in a moment.” The first question – from Alan Whitehead – follows another comment on how wonderful Martin is. The question is unremarkable, and centres on low carbon economy.

12:02 – Cameron is up: “Welcome to prime minister’s planted questions,” he offers, referring to the last question. Cameron jokes that the Mr Ten per cent tag (which Labour strategists toyed with using against the Tory leader) relates not to cuts, but Brown’s poll rating – it’s an old joke already, after doing the rounds since Monday. He calls on Brown to discuss cuts. Brown says he welcomes having a debate on policy. Martin makes his first “O… O… Order” of the afternoon. Brown, for his part, makes all the usual points about Tory cuts and Labour spending more.

12:04 – Cameron says Brown hasn’t answered the question. “For the time Peter Mandelson allows him to carry on in the job he could at least answer the questions.” Will he accept his spending plans from 2011 mean there will be a real-terms cut? Brown retorts that Tories will cut whatever happens, they’re committed to it. Brown gives a detailed response on current and capital expenditure, but it’s getting too complex for me to verify. “It sounds more and more desperate,” Cameron replies. Whichever way you look at the figures, the government plans to cut spending, he argues.

12:07 – As Cameron talks about capital and current spending he looks at his notes avidly. Osborne watches his boss, almost mouthing the words, as if he’s nervous he’s about to go wrong. Brown says Cameron is dogmatically set on a ten per cent in most departments – he’s like a dog with a bone on this one. Brown says Cameron hasn’t produced one figure yet, whereas he is spewing them forth like some sort of horrible economic fountain. I have no idea whether any of it is true, but I seriously doubt it. Brown calls on him to abandon inheritance tax cuts. Cameron evades that and starts quoting senior economists lambasting Brown. It’s effective, but Cameron relies on rhetoric while Brown uses statistics. Brown makes just that point when Cameron asks him to be straight. “The only figure we have had is the admission from the shadow health secretary (Andrew Lansley with the original ten per cent comment),” he says.

12:10 – “He is just sinking and sinking,” Cameron replies. “Once you take out debt interest and unemployment benefit” it adds up to a cut. Cameron is very sharp here – perhaps too sharp. “Why doesn’t he stand back a minute and ask why he is so distrusted.” Then Cameron mentions a recession all over Europe and the House erupts. Labour are in absolute ecstasy. It’s a full minute at least before they calm down enough for Cameron to talk, and once he starts they just drown him out again. Martin is really struggling to keep control here. “I don’t want a minister pushing his luck – you behave yourself,” Martin says. Cameron: “They shout for half an hour on a Wednesday and then spend the rest of the week trying to get rid of him.” He then reels off a list of supposed lies Brown has made and shouts: “You are simply not fit to be our prime minister.” Martin rebukes him for using the term “you” – and “I think at all these hustings they won’t approve of the terms either”.

12:13 – Good response from Brown, who takes the high ground. He says at least the Tory leader has a European policy, and finally admits there’s a recession in Europe, “and as for his last comments,” Brown continues, he can’t resist reducing everything to personality. Cameron was no less witty or clever here, but he lapsed into bullying. That will merely damage him. Cameron: “Character and policy come together in this vital question” It feels a little desperate, but he seems to realise he took damage. “We have a prime minister who won’t be straight with people, and a prime minister who won’t even give ten per cent of the truth,” he finishes. Brown: “Why doesn’t he face up to the policy issue” instead of reading out quotes “from this person and this person”. He calls on the Tories to go back to their constituencies and tell people how many police and nurses etc they would scrap with their cuts. And that’s it for the double act today. Once upon a time Cameron said no more ‘Punch and Judy politics’ – that’s clearly gone the way of the dodo. Brown survived that attack rather easily, because the Tory leader got overexcited.

12:17 – Clegg gets up. Does he agree with Darling’s comments blaming bank board rooms for recession, but refused to change regulation of banks? Brown says they are fundamentally changing the regulation, and then lists them. Clegg says he’s having it both ways. “He can’t just blame the bankers and then not change the basic way we control them.” A weak start, but some rhetoric on government responsibility for “casino investment banking” follows. “Both failed,” Brown says. He delivers one of those convincing speeches on economics he does so well. “To be honest I think he supports what we’re doing but can’t bear to say it.” A second disappointing PMQs for Clegg in a row. Shame. He had really upped his game.

12:21 – Tom Brake asks about a husband of one of his constituents who is detained by the Americans. Brown promises to look at it and write to him. Ann Clwyd asks him to condemn the racist attacks in Belfast. He does so. John Randall asks him to confirm if the Department of Transport is compiling dossiers on opponents of the Heathrow runway. Brown says he knows nothing about it. As Randall sits down Michael Howard smiles at him in a rather disconcerting, fellow schoolboy sort of way.

12:23 – It’s quite remarkable how far down his seat Alan Johnson sits. To think this is the man who is talked about so much and who is currently in control of the Home Office seems slightly absurd when you see him slumped down as far as he can go, like a nervous schoolboy who knows he’s done something. I would call him the naughty home secretary, but I think Jacqui Smith took that nickname already. Judy Mallaber asks a question on underage purchases on the internet. Brown points her towards the Digital Britain report. Angus Robertson of the SNP calls for Scotland to have its say on further devolution in his typical puckish way. Brown delivers a traditional rebuke about the SNP wanting to destroy the Union.

12:26 – “Has the government received any informal briefings from Damian McBride?” a Tory MP asks. Gordon stands up: “I have not”. Considerable murmurs, adding up to nothing.

12:27 – Shawn Woodward – Brown’s curious new ally – simply will not stop playing with his face. Brown is making some more statements on debating policy. Funny thing about the prime minister – you never hear him say anything once. Every statement is repeated thousands of times. I know you have to hammer points home to imprint them on the public mind, but it’s deeply irritating. Brian Donohoe asks a question on excessive profits for energy companies. Brown says everyone is worried about an increase in oil price. The world needs to balance supply and demand in oil. There’s now a ten minute rule bill on missile testing facilities. Then Martin will make his speech.

12:43 – No, it’s slightly later than that. We’re not expecting the Speaker’s statement until 13:00 BST. Go make a cup of coffee.

12:46 – Oops. Wrong again. It’s begun. Martin begins by mentioning that his signature is a collectors’ item now, and how much whisky signed by him is worth on eBay. It’s not funny, but his delivery is curiously disarming.

12:47 – He thanks his assistants, who look on from his left. Not exactly a great public Speaker, Martin never looks up from his notes. He thanks pretty much the full list of different staff in the Palace of Westminster. It’s difficult to tell if he’s getting emotional or just struggling with making a speech. I think it’s probably the latter. He’s now thanking Hansard, who take down the notes of what is said in the House, and the cleaning staff, who work “without recognition”. He says members often don’t know who they are. On July 7th 2005, many walked home when transport worked, but made sure they were at work the next day. “They are a credit to this House.”

12:51 – He says what a pleasure it has been to receive leaders from across the word. He is proud to have opened the House to many charities. It was always a joy to receive children from the leukaemia charity of Wales, he adds. And more charities are listed. “As a man of Christian faith” he was still able to work with other faith groups. He wants to mention issues which have troubled him. The police search of Damian Green’s office led to him making a statement which he affirms. The chief whip has said there will be a cross-party inquiry into the events. “I will give evidence to any depth required by this House.”

12:54 – And onto expenses. “In my 30 years in this House, I have seen nothing like it. Let me say again to the men and women of this country: I am sorry.” He reminds the House it could have dealt with this “emotive issue” in January 2008. He was asked to review the allowances system. There were detailed and thorough proposals based on a wide range of evidence and containing 18 separate recommendations. On June 30th Sir Christopher Kelly (chair of committee on standards in public life) wrote to Martin saying he was pleased by the recommendations.

12:56 – I think I see where he’s going. Basically: You’ve scapegoated me. “The response from this House was deeply disappointing,” he says. Half the members didn’t bother to vote, and those who did mostly voted against the proposals. “Members of this House now share my regret,” he says. Fascinating stuff. “By and large those solutions (which party leaders are now producing) were in my committee’s 18 recommendations. I wish with all my heart that those recommendations had won the confidence of the House. I wish party leaders had shown then some of the leadership they have shown now.”

12:58 – “We should have done this last year.” Now the legal challenges to the Freedom of Information Act, which MPs tried to use to stop their expenses becoming public. He says he listened to representations from all levels of all parties to stop it. Remember, this is what really did it for him. It had to be tested in a higher court, he says. “What we now know is that transparency will be the House’s best safeguard.” He calls his winning campaign to be returned to parliament “the greatest honour of his life”, and describes himself as a proud husband and trade unionist. It’s actually weirdly moving, especially if you consider the unpleasant, class-based sneering the Tory backbenchers have often subjected him to.

13:01 – He gives his thanks to his agent etc (bit like the Oscars this bit) and goes on to describe his constituency as “home”. “I will forever be in your debt for giving me your friendship, support and trust” he tells his constituents. “In the year 2000 you entrusted me with the great office of Speaker,” he says. “Though this parliament is at its lowest ebb,” he still believes in the essential decency of the members of the House. He mentions those who stay late at night to ask about an individual constituent.

13:06 – “When I am asked I will tell of the goodness of this House,” he continues. He tells an effective story about parliament. He met a Holocaust survivor who pointed at the mother of parliament and said: “That building gave me my freedom.” There’s clapping in the Commons when he sits down – a strange sound in this place. The last time we heard it was when Tony Blair left. It lasts about a minute. Brown gets up to offer his best wishes. He starts by offering heartfelt thanks for his service.

13:09 – Brown made a genuine funny. My God – he just made another. One on a Labour student debate on banning alcohol, which “would never be made again” and another on being a comedian in Glasgow: “You’ll know they found you funny if they let you live.” I’m still in shell shock. He describes Martin as a dedicated man who “has never forgotten where he came from” and who worked his way up without any privileges afforded to him.

13:15 – Brown rounds off his speech as he began, with warm wishes to Martin. Cameron gets up and says he can finally say “you” while remaining in order. “Everyone can hear your passion about this place. We must all deliver what you said we must.” He admits it’s been a tough time to be Speaker, but notes that several of his predecessors “were actually beheaded”. He also admits Martin’s proposals should have been accepted. “We all accept responsibility for the delay,” he says.

13:18 – Cameron says that he hopes all Martin’s constituents will be as friendly to him as they are to Martin during the upcoming by-election. It’s an extremely funny play on Glasgow’s less-then-friendly attitude to the Tories. He ends by noting an interview to the Politics Show Martin delivered. In it he said he switched off by playing bagpipes. He said the best way to approach PMQs was to stay calm and not get psyched up, and that Cameron himself will one day try to do that.

13:20 – Clegg gets up. He was the first leader to call for him to go. “Under the circumstances it’s extremely generous of you to call me to speak today,” he begins. “It’s clear to all of us that personal kindness has been the outstanding characteristic” of the Speaker. Ming Campbell, who grew up nearby and is a friend of Martin, appears close to tears. “Everyone here knows you gave yourself, heart and soul, to the role of Speaker. That will be your legacy.” And with that, we will leave the Commons. Come back next week, when we get a look at how the new Speaker will conduct things – whoever they are.